SHIT PIT!

What dreams are made of

Ever wonder what a 5 month floater looks like?  Well, if you're a lucky volunteer here at the Bimini Biological Field Station, you get to find out twice a year.  Located on a small island and being mostly self-sustaining, the shark lab's septic system thus consists of a 5x5 underground concrete pit which, about every five months, is emptied.  The half-day spectacle that ensued, complete with the Top Gun soundtrack, cross dressing, and an almost entire bottle of bleach, is aptly dubbed "Shit Pit" and, I can promise, did not disappoint. 

Needless to say, I had the last choice of charity clothes to wear

The septic pit is located just behind the lab under a concrete lid and a foot of sand.  Once the concrete lid was removed and the dinner table-sized floater that closely resembled corny meatloaf was revealed, the fun really started.  Using buckets, we manually hauled the loads over to the massive pit dug the previous day and emptied the contents, careful to avoid potentially fatal splashes.  After the fecal raft was removed, an industrial water pump with a fifty-foot hose was used to remove the liquid leftovers as we all prayed that a rogue tampon wouldn't clog the intake and, literally, make our day even shittier.  Luckily everything went smoothly (pun intended) and, after a few final buckets at the bottom, we filled the pit in and recovered the now empty septic tank.

After a lunch that contained neither corn nor anything brown, we were given the rest of the day off.  However, before we could even get up from the table, two locals came by and dropped off a pelican they had found with a completely broken wing.  Despite being a lab dedicated to working with sharks and without anyone trained as a vet, locals tend to bring us any injured animals they find, including dead ones that, for some reason, they think we'll enjoy.  As a result, after locating a visiting german vet staying on the island, the next hour was spent bandaging and caring for the battered pelican, which is currently sitting in a small box in one of our sheds "healing"; apparently that's how they do it in Germany.

Despite wanting to save the pelican, I kept thinking of that eventful day years ago when Matt, Adam and I were told to humanely put down a badly injured seagull at the suggestion of animal control.  On that occasion, however, and without a gun, "humanely put down" turned unfortunately into "decapitate with a machete on the neighbors lawn in front of two little girls".  In our defense, we didn't know how else to kill it and had no idea the girls were there until it was too late.  Plus, as Adam announced, it was attacking...