I Guess Pelicans Never Took Swim Class

When you're young, what's the first rule you learn about swimming?  The rule that, if broken enough times, is likely to really to ruin your day?

Don't dive headfirst into shallow water.

Q - What did the one pelican say to the other?

A - You're fucked.

Pelicans clearly couldn't give two shits about this dogma.  In fact, as I spent a lazy day out tracking in South Bimini, I watched pelicans repeatedly dive-bomb into essentially knee-deep water.  This got me thinking; how many overzealous pelicans do you think paralyze themselves by diving after an all-to-shallow nemo?  Furthermore, how could such a risky hunting strategy have evolved?  This led me to two conclusions

1.) It would be fun to be a pelican
2.) As said pelican, you are ugly as shit

My reasoning is simple and can be explained with only a slight stretch of my imagination, be it a tired, hungry, and farmer-tanned imagination.  Pelicans enjoy lounging in tree tops, I enjoy lounging on couches (especially if they were up in trees).  When they're hungry, pelicans go flying and then dive into the water like an avian kamikazee when they spot food.  If someone told you that, next time you were hungry, you could go flying around in search of submerged cheeseburgers (forgetting for a moment that soggy cheeseburgers are probably pretty bad) you can't tell me you wouldn't be excited.

In other news, i've also realized that the principle of social altruism can really comeback to fuck you when concerning karaoke.  As I mentioned a few days ago, after several karaoke nights without any shark lab singers, I sang a song last week hoping that, if one person sang, others would start singing this week.  Wrong.  Instead, I was kindly and unknowingly volunteered to sing "Like a Virgin"....it got ugly quick and started what is sure to become a war of terrible renditions of pop hits from America's sluttiest female stars.

Tomorrow we're going long lining and it should therefore be an awesome day.  Hopefully we'll be lucky like last time and get some good size tiger, lemon, and black tip sharks on the lines.  Then, on Sunday, we're doing a shark dive and then getting ready for mini PIT which starts next week.  Basically, the next week or so should be a lot of fun and involve a lot of sharks.

dolphins are gay sharks.