That's okay film crew, i didn't really feel like sleeping anyway

Moving a 3.5 foot Nurse shark from the boat to the pen

You ever watch a TV program and wonder how they get the footage to look so good?  I used to, but then I worked first hand with several different film crews and realized it's more complicated than you might expect.  Now, i'm not just talking about the actual process involved in filming a TV program, but rather the entire experience of housing, feeding, and basically babysitting full grown adults.

So, without further introduction, here is my list of fun facts about film crews...

1. They take their sweet ass time - Sure Mr. Director, i'll wake up at 5:30 to get everything set up and ready for your crew to begin filming at sunrise.  What's that?  You'll actually not get here until 7 and then spend thirty minutes making coffee and asking me why it's overcast?  Awesome, I hate getting more than five hours of sleep anyway.  
2. Professionalism varies - While every crew usually brings an assortment of cameras that i'd gladly give a testicle for, they don't always bring the same work ethic.  No, i don't think I feel comfortable holding your $80,000 camera while you snorkel through the mangroves in your speedo to take photos with the new SLR and housing that i am sure was a "business expense".  On the other hand, they don't pay me enough (at all) to watch you swap lenses a gazillion times to ensure that you've captured every angle possible of the host picking up a scalpel.
3. Sound guys are tools - Sweet soul patch bro, how long did it take you to get those six pubic hairs below your lip to grow that long?  That was smart of you to put your microphones in condoms so they stay dry, glad they're getting used for something.    
4. The host always gets their own room - I used to think this was a primadonna thing, but the reality is that, after a long day of being told to repeat yourself a million times by a fat dude with a fanny pack, the talent needs their beauty sleep. 
5. Their budgets are ridiculous - Brand new outfits, camera equipment worth more than Kenya's GDP, catered meals, and full speedo attire are just some of the luxuries i've encountered.
6. They freestyle it - Writers?  Who needs a script when you're entire crew has seen Jaws at least twice. 

For obvious reasons i cannot disclose any specific information about the filming that goes on here at the lab.  To be fair, film crews are very important to us, and everyone works hard on both ends to make the best programs possible.  That being said, I can still poke fun at things, just as i'm sure they're laughing at my bunk bed.